2005年05月03日

ほりえもん

このまえ、お昼ごろに電車に乗っていたときの話。

電車がすいていたので、ドアのすぐ横の座席に座っていました。

隣は空席。


しばらく乗っていると、何個目かの駅で 小学生の集団 が乗ってきました。遠足かな?

「うわぁ 五月蝿(うるさ)そうだなぁ・・・」

たまにありますよね、こういうこと。
普段だったら他の車両に移るんですけど、前後の車両にも、黄色い帽子がたくさん見えているので、どうやら1車両に1クラスづつに振り分けて乗っているようです。

いい迷惑です。


しょうがないので、そのままその座席に座っていました。


えぇ、そうです。

案の定、囲まれました。



前に立っている子はつり革にぶら下がってます。

隣に座っている子は座席に座ってホッピング。

そのたびに揺れる私



・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・イライラ

ギャーギャーワーワー

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・イライラ


周りの大人たちが「囲まれちゃって、あの人、かわいそうに」といった風に見ています。



う〜む、この状況を打開するにはいかに。。。。


そうだ、打ち解けよう!
ここはひとつ大人な自分を演出しなければならない。

「俺は、こんな状況にびくともしない大人の男さ!」というところを見せようではないか!
 

 
満面のスマイルで隣に座っている小学生に話し掛けてみることに。

 きゃ「どこ行くの?」
 子A「遠足??!」
 子B「木場公園!(/=`◇´)/≪ギャォオオオオオオオオオオオオオオオ!!」


この距離で叫ぶなよ。十分聞こえてるから。



スマイルスマイル、スマイルを忘れずに!

 きゃ「何年生?」
 子 「2年生!」
 子 「・・・」

にやにやして、黙っている子B
どうしたのかと思っていると、彼の口から信じられないコトバが発せられた。
 
 
 
 
 
 

 子 「・・・・・知らない人とは話さない
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
えっ!? ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・(-_-)
 
  
固まったスマイル 
 
 
 
 
油断していた・・

人がせっかく話し掛けているというのに、キサマはなにやつ。
そんなに怪しい人に見えるのかい?

利口なやつめ。

・・・・・・・・・・・・打開策失敗!

 
 


そんなわけで(こいつら早く降りねぇかなぁ)と思いながら、しばらく無言のまま囲まれていました。
 
 
 
しばらくして、さっきの隣に座っている子が私の顔を じーっ と見上げてニヤついてました。
そう思ったら突然、ぱっと立ち上がり、前に立っている友達に耳打をしています。明らかに俺を見ながら。

(きさま、今度はいったい何を・・!)

と思いながらも、今度はちょっとキムタクっぽく、かっこよく「どうした?」と聞いてみることに。

先ほどのボディブローが効いていたので、いかに子供相手とはいえ油断大敵ですから。

 きゃ「どうした?」
 
 
 子 「ホリエモンに似てる

 
 
 
また、油断していた・・

知らない人とは話さないと言っておきながら、ちゃっかり観察しているとは。キサマはなにやつ。
そんなに似ているかい?よく言われるが。

 
ちくしょう、利口なやつめ。


そして、次の駅、彼らは嵐のように去っていきました。
posted by きゃべたろう at 12:41| Comment(102) | TrackBack(4) | 日記 | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする
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